"You can't fight the ego. Accept the ego, and let it go on. This understanding will gradually push the ego back."
In the meditation for February 24, he says,
"Fighting the ego, the mind, is precisely what the ego wants. You cannot fight the mind. You cannot suppress the ego. Fighting, resisting, controlling it is an impossible action. What is really needed is a negative or feminine action. That is to yield, to allow things to be as they are."
In the meditation for March 6, he says,
"Thoughts just witnessed get cut off for the simple reason that there is no comparing, no judging, no decision making."
On p. 125 of I Am That (1984), Nisargadatta says,
"Be conscious of yourself, watch your mind, give it your full attention. Don’t look for quick results; there may be none within your noticing. Unknown to you, your psyche will undergo a change; there will be more clarity in your thinking, charity in your feeling, purity in your behavior. You need not aim at these — you will witness the change all the same. For, what you are now is the result of inattention and what you become will be the fruit of attention."
Nonduality is the teaching that separation is an illusion (see Sections 10.1, 14.3). Suffering is a reminder for us to see this. Whenever we suffer for any reason, it is because we identify with a thought, feeling, emotion, or sensation. This is the "mine" property of the ego (see Section 11.5). Thus, it is always identification that is the problem, not the thought, feeling, emotion, or sensation itself.
Our identification with our suffering is such a basic part of our personality that we would rather cling to its familiarity than risk the unknown by letting it go. For example, clinging to our fear, anger, or hatred may make us feel strong and alive, but we pay dearly for them. Until we realize that emptiness is fullness, letting go will be threatening. The price for realizing our true nature is to let go of our suffering.
| Question: If letting go of anger and resentment means loving yourself, are you ready to let them go? If it means loving your enemies, are you still ready to let them go? |
In Buddhism, much importance is placed on the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness, or conscious attention, allows us to become aware of our identifications, thereby allowing disidentification to occur spontaneously. Closely related to mindfulness is compassion for ourselves, which is a deep awareness of our suffering and the yearning for its end (see Section 16.2).
A useful practice for increasing the awareness of our identifications is to note them and name them. If we are able to see them clearly, we are no longer identified with them, and our suffering will decrease. Letting them go may then also occur. Letting our identifications go is not the same thing as giving them up. Giving them up is an attempt by the ego to solve a problem by pretending to let go of it but then to resentfully cling to it. However, true letting go cannot be done by the ego, and when it happens, it leaves no suffering behind. Noticing our identifications and naming them may need to be repeated many times before true letting go begins.
The first step is to become clearly aware of the emotions that are causing our suffering. They will usually consist of both thought and body sensations, and we must be aware of both for noting and naming to be effective. Ask yourself, What am I feeling?, and then find both the thought and the body sensations. Now focus on the body sensations and feel them as clearly as possible from the inside. The body sensations may be anywhere in the body, but are most often in the abdomen, solar plexus, chest, face, forehead, or eyes. For example, anger may be felt as tightness in the solar plexus or chest with flushing in the face, eyes, or forehead. Anxiety may be felt as tightness in the abdomen, solar plexus, or chest. Sadness may be felt as heaviness in the chest with tears welling up in the eyes.
Notice also whether there is resistance present, and see what body sensations correspond to the resistance. Resistance is a form of fear or aversion (see Chapter 21) and may be the only emotion present, e.g., when the predominant body sensation is pain. At first, it may be difficult to distinguish and identify the different sensations, but it will become easier with practice.
When we resist a thought, emotion, or sensation and try to change it, we make war on it. Rather than making war on it, and thus on ourselves, we can disidentify from it by noting it, naming it, feeling the body sensations, and seeing that they just happen spontaneously. For example, whenever we catch the mind judging, we note it and name it ("that's judging"), then feel the body sensations and see that they are happening spontaneously. Whenever we notice anger in the mind and body, we note it and name it ("that's anger"), then feel the body sensations and see that they are happening spontaneously. Whenever we notice hatred in the mind and body, we note it and name it ("that's hatred"), then feel the body sensations and see that they are happening spontaneously. Whenever we notice guilt in the mind and body, we note it and name it ("that's guilt"), then feel the body sensations and see that they are happening spontaneously. The same practice works for any kind of suffering, including sadness, craving, lust, fear, anxiety, envy, jealousy, regret, and self-condemnation.
| Exercises: Can you focus on your judging rather than on whom you are judging? Can you focus on your anger rather than on whom you are angry with? Can you focus on your hatred rather than on whom you hate? What happens to your identifications when you note them, name them, feel the body sensations, and see that they just happen spontaneously? |
We can cultivate forgiveness through spiritual practice. But, if the practice merely covers up our unforgiveness, we are still not free. Nondualistically, forgiveness is the absence of unforgiveness rather than being something we do. Therefore, a nondualistic forgiveness practice is to simply notice our unforgiveness, name it, feel the body sensations, and see that they are just happening spontaneously. The most important one to forgive is oneself because it is impossible to forgive another without forgiving oneself.
| Exercises: Whenever you are feeling regret, guilt, or shame, where in the body do you feel it? Notice whether resistance is also present. If there is, where in the body do you feel it? What happens to the regret, guilt, shame, and resistance if you just note them, name them, feel the body sensations, and see that they just happen spontaneously? |
| Exercises: Think of somebody for whom you feel anger, resentment, or aversion. What happens to your feelings if you just note them, name them, feel the body sensations, and see that they just happen spontaneously? |
Gratitude is similar to forgiveness because both are dualistically opposite to resentment. We can cultivate gratitude through spiritual practice. However, just as nondualistic forgiveness is the absence of unforgiveness, nondualistic gratitude is the absence of ingratitude. Therefore, a nondualistic gratitude practice is to notice our ingratitude, name it, feel the body sensations, then observe that they just happen spontaneously.
| Exercise: Think of a situation in which you feel resentment. It need not be directed towards a specific person or persons--it could be towards the world, or life itself. Where in the body do you feel it? What is your experience if you just note it, name it, feel the body sensations, and see that they just happen spontaneously? |
Similarly, we may think of trust as a consciously adopted belief that things will somehow work out in our favor. But nondualistic trust is not a belief--it is the experience of the appropriateness of our responses in the present moment. We reinforce that experience when we notice our resistance to the present moment, name it, feel the body sensations, and see that they just happen spontaneously.
| Question: Do you always trust your speech and actions to be appropriate to the present moment? If you don't, does your distrust cause you to hesitate or equivocate? What is your experience if you note your distrust, name it, feel the body sensations, and see that they just happen spontaneously? |
As long as we continue to identify as an individual, we will feel resistance to whatever we do not want (see Chapter 21). Clearly seeing our resistances weakens our identification as an individual and reveals our true nature. Since identification is so persistent and strong, disidentification requires constant mindfulness.