I always had a crush on Steve, the green-shirted guy who helped a cartoon dog solve a problem by talking to felt salt shakers for clues. But when it came to the real life actor standing in front a green screen, I started to wonder-who is Steve.? (Single? Age? Sign?) And then one day, he was gone. The two year-old in me, with eighteen years of hormones on top of her, wanted to know: where did he go?

"Steve" is Steve Burns, a 29 year-old New York resident and-get ready for this-solo rock musician...

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My dream is to sign with Def Jux records. Focus on the international a bit. Ninja Tunes, Warp... Interscope, MTA..." sadi Damani, the lyricist and more vocal part of Charlottesville hip-hop trio the Beetnix. "Man, if Rick Rubin [famous for producing the early Beastie Boys albums] walked in here right now, I'd tie him up and wouldn't let him go until I had a record contract. He is the G-d of producers."

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Cheaters in New York, Detroit, Philadelphia, and Atlanta are obviously too busy with Motel 6 and ménage a trois to listen to the radio.

The War of the Roses is America's new favorite homewrecker: radio stations accept applications from listeners who have reason to believe that their significant others are cheating on them; their morning radio show deejays then pose as employees for a new dot-com florist and offer them a free bouquet of a dozen roses in exchange for passing the company name along to friends. Consistently, the cheaters give the name of their less-than-significant others-caught-at which point the radio deejay interrupts and lets the offended parties break up with them on the line.

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What we all know and love as reality television is in actuality not realistic television. In fact, nothing can ever truly be realistic television unless you are watching the tape of surveillance camera, but even then- the choice of position, the beginning and ending of the tape, etc. all create inherent bias. So when it comes to reality television, with all the cutting, splicing, and special effects, much more is thrown into the bias basket of editing.

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